Dirty Twisted Love Read online

  “You need me here with you,” Dom continued, prowling back toward her. “If someone is going to help you fake your death it should be me. At least you know I won’t sell you as a sex slave while you’re unconscious.”

  “I’m too old for the slave trade,” she said, a part of her wishing Dom was still on her father’s payroll so she could get away with giving him orders and expecting them to be obeyed. “They like innocent little girls, not twenty-nine-year-old mothers.”

  His lips parted, but she cut him off before he could speak.

  “And I’m not going to change my mind about this. I need you with Jasper. If you really want to do what’s best for me, then take care of him.” She closed the distance between them, taking his hand in both of hers. “Please, Dom. You’re the only one I trust to be prepared for whatever happens. Louisa is wonderful, but she doesn’t know how to handle a gun or how to find Hannah if things don’t go as planned.”

  His eyes narrowed “You can’t be serious.”

  “I don’t have anyone else,” she said. “I won’t let Jasper be raised by my parents, and Aunt Sybil isn’t in good enough health to raise a child. Hannah is the only one I trust to love him the way he deserves to be loved.”

  “She’s married to a psychopath,” Dom said. “That’s the only reason I agreed to keep your location a secret in the first place, Harley. To keep you and Jasper safe from him. Jackson loves Hannah now, but I saw the way he treated her in the beginning. He’s a monster. I would never trust him with a child.”

  “So I guess I’ll just have to do my best not to die,” she said with a soft laugh.

  His scowl deepened. “That isn’t funny. None of this is funny. You should never have gotten involved with a man like Marlowe.”

  “I know that now, Dom,” she said, checking her impatience. “But when I met him I was a single mom who couldn’t risk coming out of hiding, wondering how I was going to make ends meet when Daddy’s money ran out.”

  “Stewart would have given you more.”

  “I didn’t want more,” she snapped. “All I want from Stewart is for him to be out of my and Jasper’s lives. Permanently. This is the only way to do that. I finish the job, collect my last paycheck, and disappear in a way that ensures Marlowe doesn’t come looking for me.”

  Dom sighed. It was a put-upon sound, but she could tell she was winning. She just needed to drive her argument home.

  “And then Jasper and I can find a house in a little village in a corner of the world where Marlowe and my father and all the other bad guys will leave us alone and we’ll be out of your hair for good.” She leaned into him with a smile. “And then all you’ll need to worry about is how you’re going to spend the twenty grand I’m going to pay you for services rendered.”

  “I don’t want your money.” His arm went around her waist, holding her close. “And maybe I don’t want you out of my hair, either.”

  Harley looked up at him, chest tightening at the soft look in his eyes. “You don’t mean that. I’m not the one you want, Dom. We both know that.”

  “Don’t tell me what I want.” He bent low, silencing her with a kiss. His tongue slipped between her lips and his hand plunged into her hair, drawing her closer. He kissed her with a hunger she hadn’t felt from him before, but she knew this was as much about being forced to say goodbye as anything he might feel for her.

  It was easy to mistake the thing that was hard to get for the thing you really wanted. She’d been swept away by her share of unattainable men when she was younger, before she’d met the man who had taught her that love was sweetest when you didn’t have to fight for it. Loving Clay had come easily. Being with him was the most natural thing in the world, like breathing, like she’d been born to laugh at his jokes, fit perfectly in his arms, and get lost making love in a way she never had before.

  She hadn’t made love to anyone else—before or since. The part of her that had been capable of that kind of closeness had died in the car crash with Clay.

  Even as her body came to life, responding to Dom’s kiss and the feel of his hand up her shirt, under her bra, rolling her nipple between his fingers, her heart remained calm and quiet. She let Dom pick her up and carry her into the bedroom, locking the door behind them before laying her on the bed, because he needed this and she needed him. She needed his help and she needed to feel something good before he and Jasper left and took all the light in her world with them.

  She was a strong woman and she pretended to be even stronger, but there were times when she needed softness in her life.

  She needed Dom’s mouth hot on her bare skin and his tongue flicking across her nipple before he suckled her hard enough to bow her back off the bed. She needed his rough palms smoothing over her hips to grip her behind the knees and spread her wide, needed his thick fingers fucking her slow and deep while their tongues fought a battle they were both going to win. She needed his cock at her entrance, pushing inside, filling her, building the sweet tension swelling low in her body.

  But she didn’t love him.

  When he stared deep into her eyes as he began to move, silently asking her to let him in, she closed her eyes and buried her face in his neck. Her hands trailed down to claw into the thick muscles of his ass. She urged him to thrust faster, harder, to take them both where they needed to go, but she didn’t give him any reason to believe that this was more than a moment of shared pleasure.

  This wasn’t the beginning or the end or anything worth writing home about. It was a moment to catch their breath and brace themselves for the downpour before running back out into the rain.

  “Damn, Harley,” Dom whispered against her forehead. “You feel so good. Look at me, baby. Look at me. Let me see you.”

  Harley relaxed back onto the pillow with a moan and gave the man what he was asking for. She held his gaze as she lifted into his thrusts, letting him see her face twist as she neared the edge, letting him watch as her orgasm claimed her, rippling through her body with enough force to make her lips part in a soundless scream.

  But most importantly, she let him see the emptiness at her core, the calm, untouchable pool where the water never rippled and no man would ever see his reflection. It was a lifeless place, ruled by the ghost of a dead man and no other man would ever stake his claim on it.

  There were other worlds inside of her, where friends were treasured, where Hannah was loved with a ferocity only twins could understand, and where Jasper had ruled as the prince of her heart since the moment he looked up at her and blinked his eyes for the first time. But there was no place for what Dom wanted.

  It was as impossible as asking the sun to rise in the west or the stars to shine through the daylight.

  “Fine,” Dom said, hurt flashing in his eyes as his jaw clenched tight. “I get it, but you’re going to come for me again. If this is the last time I fuck you, I want to be sure you remember it.”

  Without another word, he pulled out and flipped her over on her belly. A moment later, he drove into her from behind. Harley groaned as she gave in to him, letting him take her hard and rough if that’s what he needed. She would come for him again—he was an amazing lover, that had never been the problem—and he would be able to get off without looking into her cold, dead eyes.

  Now that she had dyed her hair back to its natural brown and grown it as long as her sister’s, maybe he would be able to pretend he was fucking Hannah. The good sister, the one he really wanted, the one everyone loved.

  And why shouldn’t they—Hannah had been born whole and sweet of spirit without any inclination to self-destruct and take the world out with her. Hannah was easy to love. Harley was complicated and hard to handle and sharp to the touch, even when she was trying her best not to hurt anyone.

  “I should have known. You never said my name while we were in bed,” Dom said, his breath harsh as he reached beneath her, fingers finding her clit. “Never, not one single time.”

  “Dom, please,” she said, but he cut her off before
she could finish.

  “Don’t say it now, it’s too late. I just want you to come,” he said, riding her harder as his finger circled the top of her sex, making her gasp as she neared the edge a second time. “Come and then I’ll come and I’ll leave and take care of Jasper, just like you want me to.”

  She wanted to thank him, but she knew he wouldn’t appreciate it, so she didn’t say a word. She just let her head fall back and her hips tilt as she came a second time, her channel contracting so tight it would have forced Dom from her body if he hadn’t tightened his grip on her hips, keeping them fused together as his cock jerked inside of her.

  She came in long, fierce waves, but the pleasure was bittersweet.

  Because Dom was right. This was the last time. They had stopped at different places on the road and now the bridge had washed away, leaving them no way forward or back, at least not together.

  “It wasn’t her,” he murmured, his lips kissing her sweat-slicked shoulder as he spoke. “I know you think it was, but the only person on my mind, when we were like this, was you. I could have loved you if you’d let me. I already love Jasper. So maybe think about him the next time you’re ready to get rid of someone who cares about you. You may not want more than this, but there’s no reason to shut love out of Jasper’s life.”

  He pulled away, leaving her on her belly on the bed as he disappeared into the master bathroom to dispose of the condom. Harley heard the shower start and rolled over, staring up at the fan whirring softly above her.

  Her throat went tight and the backs of her eyes began to sting, but before the tears could fall, a brisk wind from deep inside of her swirled to the surface, freezing the surge of emotion. Soon her inner world was cold and still once more.

  It was the way things were. She couldn’t change it, even if she tried.

  Dom was wrong. It wasn’t that she didn’t want more than this. She wasn’t capable of more than this. He was asking her to spread her arms and fly, stubbornly refusing to see that her wings had been ripped off a long time ago, the day she’d lost the only man she would ever love.

  Chapter Three

  Harley

  They were quiet on the way to the airfield on the other side of Ko Tao. Harley sat in the backseat of the tiny Figaro she’d bought their first week here, letting Dom play chauffeur as she cuddled Jasper. She did her best to memorize the feel of her son’s firm, warm body fitted against hers and the way the setting sun turned his drying curls into a golden halo around his head. She tried not to think about Dom and Jasper flying away, leaving her alone to take care of her unfinished business.

  She had the names of Dom’s contacts in Bangkok, enough clay and other materials to make sure the statues with Marlowe’s drugs hidden inside were ready to ship by Friday, and an exit strategy.

  This was going to work. It had to work. It was past time to stop running and give Jasper the forever home they’d both been dreaming about for so long.

  “Update the blog when you get there so I know you’ve landed safely,” Harley said, avoiding eye contact with Dom as he fetched his and Jasper’s suitcases from the trunk. “Don’t call or text. We don’t want any traceable communication.”

  “I know.” Dom sounded more tired than annoyed. But Harley had been told she was exhausting more times than she could count, so she wasn’t really surprised. “And I’ll post something every few days so you know we’re still doing fine.”

  “Thank you.” Harley put her arm around Jasper. He leaned heavily against her, clearly worn out after his long, last day on the beach. “I appreciate what you’re doing for us, Dom.”

  “Of course.” His smile was stiff until he transferred his gaze to Jasper and his expression warmed. “We’re going to have fun, aren’t we, buddy? We’ll play video games the whole way there.”

  Jasper pumped his fist in the air. “Yes! No reading!”

  “Do some reading,” Harley said, tapping her fingers on top of Jasper’s head. “You need to keep that big beautiful brain of yours growing.”

  “What about Dom’s brain?” Jasper asked.

  “My brain’s done growing,” Dom said wryly. “But I’ll read some, too. Keep you company.”

  “Okay.” Jasper turned expectantly to Harley. “So I guess all that’s left is my surprise.”

  “I guess so.” She grinned as she reached into the open trunk, pulling out a paper bag that she handed over to Jasper. This was the only good part of saying goodbye, seeing the look on his face as he revealed the latest addition to his collection of keeper toys, the playthings that went with them no matter where they moved.

  He tore into the bag, giggling with delight as he pulled out the hideous doll she’d ordered online. It was half plastic and half fur, with the head of a Sasquatch, the body of a kewpie doll, and a red and gold skirt with green snakes printed on it. “Oh, Mom, it’s so ugly. Maybe the ugliest one yet!”

  “I know,” Harley said, laughing with him. “I had to search a long time for something uglier than the teddy bear with the chicken pox, but this guy…” She shook her head, her upper lip curling. “He’s something else.”

  “You two are weirdos,” Dom said, the affection in his voice making her glance up to find him smiling at Jasper. “Why an ugly toy collection?”

  “Because ugly toys are awesome and need homes, too.” Jasper clutched the monstrosity to his chest with one arm while he hugged Harley with the other. “Thanks, Mom. I love it.”

  “You’re welcome.” She leaned over, pressing a kiss to the top of his head, spotting the grains of sand still clinging to his scalp because, of course, he hadn’t bothered to take her scrubbing suggestion seriously.

  She didn’t know why, but the sight of that sand made her even sadder to see him go. She had to fight to keep from crying as she walked Dom and Jasper to the airfield gate to meet the charter pilot she’d hired to take them to Bangkok and then on to Prague, where they would spend the rest of June.

  “It’s going to be okay,” Dom said, resting a hand on her back, the compassion in his touch making her hope they might find their way back to being friends again, someday. “We’ll be fine and we’ll see you in a few weeks. Be careful.”

  She nodded, swallowing hard. “I will. You, too.”

  “Goodbye, Mom.” Jasper hugged her again, clinging tightly. “Never ever.”

  Her eyes squeezed closed. It was what she’d always said to Hannah. It meant more than I love you. It meant you never ever wanted to be without the other person.

  “Never ever, bug,” she said, hugging him hard, silently promising him that she would do everything she could to make sure he never had to be without anyone he loved. “Have fun and I’ll see you soon.”

  She stood by the chain link fence, watching Dom and Jasper cross the hard packed dirt to where the small charter plane was waiting, concentrating on the warm wind stirring her hair and the gentle kiss of the evening sun on her skin.

  It was time to ground herself in her body, in the moment, and let go of everything that didn’t serve her. She needed to be sharp, focused, and ready to respond to danger at a moment’s notice. Missing Jasper, worrying about what might happen to her son while she wasn’t there to protect him, and stressing about all the things that could go wrong in the next few days would only make her scattered and weak.

  If she was going to pull this off, there was no room for weakness. It was time to become the woman she had been before Clay, before Jasper, before the years had taught her how hard it was to lose the things that made life worth living. Now wasn’t the time for grief or regret. It was time for hard, sharp, and ruthless.

  By the time the plane took off, swinging out over the water before turning north toward the city, Harley’s pulse had slowed and emotion no longer fisted in her chest. She turned away from the fence, walking back to the car, focusing on lengthening and smoothing her breath and letting go of thought. It was a trick she’d learned from the man who had taught her how to fly a plane, a former Soviet spy turned smuggl
er for Marlowe. Quieting the inner world left more resources available to observe the outer world, and depriving the ego of fuel allowed instinct to take over.

  Instinct, which only cared about one thing—survival at any cost.

  Slowly, Harley’s awareness expanded to take in the light glinting off the ocean waves, the murmurs from the wild chickens pecking in the ditch, and the competing scents of ocean and airplane fuel on the wind. Her body slipped into ancient predator-prey mode, scanning her surroundings for cues that would tell her when to fight and when to flee.

  If she hadn’t shifted her awareness, she might not have noticed the battered red truck on the other side of the field, parked down by the beach just before the black rocks turned to sand. She might not have seen the fisherman leaning over his tackle box and certainly wouldn’t have noticed the sandy hair sticking out from beneath his stained ball cap.

  She hadn’t made any friends on the island—she deliberately kept to herself—but she recognized most of the locals she ran into around town and none of the ex-pats or Brits she’d met were men with blond hair. She supposed the man could be one of the more adventurous backpackers, come to explore the coral reef on the other side of the island, but the few tourists who came to Ko Tao rented scooters to get around. They didn’t drive trucks or dress in weathered Thai fisherman’s pants.

  There was something off about the man who kept his back turned to her as she paused, the car door in hand, studying him over the top of her sun-warmed hood. After a long beat, she slid into the driver’s seat and adjusted the mirror until she captured the man’s reflection. She started the car, watching him with her foot on the brake, but he didn’t turn around. He was focused on the line in his hands, and his face was invisible in the deep shadow beneath the brim of his hat.

  Finally, Harley shifted into drive and pulled out onto the road. But when she came to the corner where she would usually turn left to make her way back to the house, she turned right, heading toward town. She’d hit the market yesterday to get everything she needed for the week, but her gut told her not to go home right away. She would feel better being surrounded by other people, at least for a little while.